It's back...

It's taken me a long time to be able to update this blog, but my emotions are so full right now that I just need to get them out.

Two weeks ago we went in for our routine scans and I was floored to find out that there was a new lesion on Kai's skull. I know I shouldn't be floored, but I was. It's only been 11 months since we finished chemotherapy... and here we are again.

Because he'd already had two lesions removed from his skull, they felt that it would compromise the integrity of his skull to do another surgery so we're back to chemotherapy, only with a different drug and more time intensive. This one is given over the course of 5 days, over a 2 hour span on time. He has one week on, two weeks off. Last week was week one.

Kai, as usual, is a trooper. He'll come sit with me on the couch and tell me that he feels icky, he'll sit for a minute, smile up and me and jump off the couch to go play again. His little body just compensates. Last night we were spending family time when Kai looked at me and said, "Mommy? What happens when I die? Does my heart break and then I just go up and up and up?"

It took me a minute to answer, but in that moment I realized that even though he plays and acts normal and even though we have never told him that he's very sick... he just gets it. Kids never cease to amaze me.

I recently found out that a friend of mine from high school had a very serious heart attack and is not doing well and his chances are slim. We are only in our early 30's. Suddenly life seems very short and very precious and I just can't find it in me to worry about trivial things that in my estimation just don't matter.

If you have little ones, hug them. If you have a significant other, don't let the little things matter... because they just don't.

Kai...

I have to start writing down all of the funny things that Kai does before I start forgetting how cute he is.
*Kai tells me daily that he loves my heart.
*Kai continuosly wears a camo colored knit cap around the house that he picked out at the hospital and answers questions with "Sir, yes, Sir" and "Sir, no, Sir"
*Kai blows in my face and says that he's giving me fresh air and that his wind is invisible.
*Kai just pulled his cap down over one eye and said, "Mommy, I'm a pirate. Welcome to the 7 Seas, Matey."
*Kai told me very matter of factly tonight that he cannot go to sleep because he doesn't sleep very well. When questioned as to why he can't his answer was that he cannot sleep very well because he has no friends to sleep in his bed.
*Kai has informed Michael that he is the Boss. He is the Boss of telling Michael not to say bad words. A few people know just how funny this is based on a recent story I've shared!

There will be more to add to this, but this is a good start for tonight!

Too long...

It's been far too long since I've updated this blog. Lots has happened! We're finally moved in to our new place, which we love. Everything has a place, it's spacious and there are lots of closets! I actually enjoy cleaning knowing that things have a place to go now. I know... silly!

Sadie is cruising now, she's been standing for 6 weeks so I was a little afraid she was going to walk super early. At 10 months, I think I'm okay for her to start taking those steps now.

I'm back at the hospital with Kai right now for more tests; hence the reason I have the time to put thoughts together and update the blog. :) Kai says the funniest things these days. I should dedicate one post to all the funny and cute things that all my kids do. They really are the focus of everything right now anyway.

Moira is doing really well in school and enjoys teaching Kai how to read too. She's so responsible, it kills me. Too cute!

I'd love some input as to what people want to read about when they read this blog, other than putting silly sayings up and what the kids are up to, there's not much else to really say. But to be honest, I wouldn't have it any other way... I love my family!

Pay it forward...

This is how it works..... The first 3 people to leave a comment on this post will receive a hand made gift from me during this year. When and what will be a surprise. BUT, in order for you to leave a comment on my blog, you have to post this on your blog first. (That means that sometime during this year you will send a gift to 3 people as well.) Get it? So, the first 3 people to comment on this post will be the lucky ones.

P.S. I can't take credit for this idea... I got it from my amazing sister! (Love ya Bec!)

Baby Stages...

Well, for some long overdue good news! Mercedes has cut her first tooth, with a second about to burst through at anytime. She is also crawling around like a little pro. And all of this has happened in conjunction with her 8 month birthday! So much for having your youngest stay young forever. She does everything early and is trying to grow up way too fast for my tastes.

Ah well, such is life. The best part of parenting is watching your little ones learn new skills and grow into such capable little beings.

Moira is counting to 100 (and beyond) and is getting really good at sounding out words. Kai listens to what Moira has learned and joins right in all the fun. Now, he'll be so set for Kindergarten he'll probably be bored by the time he gets there! :) Kids are too much fun!

Surgery Day...

Well things moved quickly for this surgery. We found out on Wednesday that brother Paul probably wasn't the best option for doing the surgery because the lesion extended through the full thickness of skull in one spot. I was bummed, I had really wanted Paul to do it and it probably would have been a cool surgery for him to do. But, being the awesome surgeon he is, he put the patient first and sent us back to Primary Children's to use the neurosurgeon we used before. We called for an appointment that same afternoon and they got us in the next day.
I met Michael and Kai at the hospital on Thursday since we're both doing our best to keep our jobs covered and be there for our employers. The surgeon saw how much the lesion had grown since last October and suggested we do surgery today! Wowza! So here we are...

Luckily both of our bosses are being great and giving us what time we need and it will be nice to have this surgery out of the way. Kai's being a trooper like always and we're sitting in the pre-op waiting room while I work away (albeit with a very short blogging break) on my laptop and Kai's lounging in his little wagon playing video games.

We'll keep you all updated when we have an update.

Thanks for reading!

Construction...

I have to admit that I am not one of those people that goes crazy while living amongst the chaos that is a construction project. I'm actually pretty excited that we'll have new floors, ones that I will not be afraid to put my 7 month down on now that she is crawling (which is taking some adjustment on my part, she's too young). I like the feeling of the new and will enjoy getting organized when it's time to move back to the main floor.

We've spent the last two days throwing out at least 1/2 of our belongings that were on the main floor. Now, since I'm in a throwing out kind of mood, we're moving on to the loft and will likely get rid of a lot more from up here. This project has become known as "The Purge." All in all, this feels pretty good. You really don't need much in order to be able to live and this has given me good reason to get rid of a lot.

The only thing so far that has felt like a true imposition is the fact that we've had to eat out because we haven't been able to use the kitchen. My weekly grocery budget was blown in, oh about 3 days. I suppose it will be ramen for the rest of the week... good times.

Anyway, so far so good here. They were able to save the dry wall and the vanity in the bathroom which would have been the two major issues. It looks like really the major thing is replacing the floors and baseboards. Not too bad overall. We have fans blowing everywhere now to hopefully clear out the remaining moisture in the walls.

Tomorrow is back to work which will feel good. I love my work and was pretty bummed that I had to be here, even though it was necessary. Lots to do, always lots to do! :)

The Flood...

Yes, you read that right. We're flooded! We've ripped out all the carpet on the first floor and the service guys will be back on Monday for the linoleum, particle board sub-floors, baseboards and about one foot up of all the dry-wall.

I hardly begin to know where to start on this one, lol. It never seems to end. Bottom line, major furniture seems fine and mostly clothes, books and minor belongings are ruined. Nothing we can't live without. We'll be a construction zone for the next couple of weeks until we're re-floored, re-painted and moved back in.

Crazy stuff!

New Year...

On one hand I can hardly believe that 2008 is over and that we are in 2009; on the other hand, I am rejoicing!! I need a new year and a fresh start; how about you?

I don't necessarily believe in new year's resolutions, but I do think it is a good time to reflect on how life is going and see what adjustments need to be made. If I do decide to make changes, I don't call them new year's resolutions because I am constantly trying to be better, not just at the turning of a new year. Was that totally clear as mud or what?

Kai will be having surgery soon and I'm hoping this is his last. I think he'll be done with chemo soon too so I'm hoping that chapter of our lives, at least the major drama part is coming to an end.

I don't know what 2009 will bring, I'm mostly just hoping for no big surprises, a lot less stress and some joy. I want lots of laughter with my family, dates with my husband and more full nights of sleep. I want health, happiness and to not have to worry so much all the time. Is that so much to ask for?