Monday, November 30, 2009

It's back...

It's taken me a long time to be able to update this blog, but my emotions are so full right now that I just need to get them out.

Two weeks ago we went in for our routine scans and I was floored to find out that there was a new lesion on Kai's skull. I know I shouldn't be floored, but I was. It's only been 11 months since we finished chemotherapy... and here we are again.

Because he'd already had two lesions removed from his skull, they felt that it would compromise the integrity of his skull to do another surgery so we're back to chemotherapy, only with a different drug and more time intensive. This one is given over the course of 5 days, over a 2 hour span on time. He has one week on, two weeks off. Last week was week one.

Kai, as usual, is a trooper. He'll come sit with me on the couch and tell me that he feels icky, he'll sit for a minute, smile up and me and jump off the couch to go play again. His little body just compensates. Last night we were spending family time when Kai looked at me and said, "Mommy? What happens when I die? Does my heart break and then I just go up and up and up?"

It took me a minute to answer, but in that moment I realized that even though he plays and acts normal and even though we have never told him that he's very sick... he just gets it. Kids never cease to amaze me.

I recently found out that a friend of mine from high school had a very serious heart attack and is not doing well and his chances are slim. We are only in our early 30's. Suddenly life seems very short and very precious and I just can't find it in me to worry about trivial things that in my estimation just don't matter.

If you have little ones, hug them. If you have a significant other, don't let the little things matter... because they just don't.

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The Family

The Family
Summer 2008