My thoughts are probably in the same place as many of yours right now and that is reflecting on the many blessings that take place in my life daily. It's sad that we live in a world where many of us pray for miracles and then when things turn out okay we breath a great sigh of relief and say to God, "Oh, never mind, I figured it out." With the miracles around us, how can we not see the hand of God in our lives and see his great mercy and love for us? I hope that during this great Thanksgiving Season and going on into the Holidays that we will remember who is directing our lives and working for our good.
I'm thankful for wonderful family and friends and for the blessing that they are in my life. I am also thankful for a loving Heavenly Father who blesses me daily. My wish for each of you this season is to take a moment to reflect on your own lives and recognize the goodness that is there and to give thanks where it is due by getting on your knees.
Happy Thanksgiving and Happy Holidays!
Friday, November 28, 2008
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Being Good...
It's all that matters.
It's so easy to get caught up in feeling that something is very important when in fact it is only a smoke screen. Feeling that the image you project to others is important is faulty logic, but it's amazing how at the time it gives you a false sense that you are indeed pulled together and the world is right. In truth, your reality is hidden and before you know it you can't remember what was ever important to you. I know that people who care about me are here for me and I should have leant more on you for support when inside I was falling apart.
I love my family and friends and I'm thankful for each of you. Please be good. Do good for others. Leave your mark on this world and know that it is a good one. Because at the end of the day, being good is all that matters.
It's so easy to get caught up in feeling that something is very important when in fact it is only a smoke screen. Feeling that the image you project to others is important is faulty logic, but it's amazing how at the time it gives you a false sense that you are indeed pulled together and the world is right. In truth, your reality is hidden and before you know it you can't remember what was ever important to you. I know that people who care about me are here for me and I should have leant more on you for support when inside I was falling apart.
I love my family and friends and I'm thankful for each of you. Please be good. Do good for others. Leave your mark on this world and know that it is a good one. Because at the end of the day, being good is all that matters.
Friday, November 7, 2008
Kai
It's taken me a week to get this posted, but here's the latest on Kai. Last week we had Kai's latest CT scan and full body x-rays. After 9 months of chemo we thought it would be fairly routine and we'd get more of the same news. Instead, we found a new boney lesion on Kai's skull. Luckily it is about a quarter of the size of the other two that he had before.
So, here's the plan. Normally we do the scan and x-rays every 3 months, but this time we're moving it up and will do an x-ray of his head in 6 weeks (5 weeks from now). If it's the same or healing then we keep going with chemo as it is now. If it's larger, then we will do all of the x-rays and CT scan again to see if there is anything else. If there isn't, then the neurosurgeon will just go in and basically scoop it out. If something else does show up then we have to change what we are doing completely.
If you followed all of that, as you can see there are a lot of options for what could happen at this point so I'm doing my best to just focus and not worry.
I'm really down with this latest news and I'm finding it really hard to be positive at all. Life seems overwhelming so I'm praying that something good can happen soon. I need it! Please keep our family in your prayers.
So, here's the plan. Normally we do the scan and x-rays every 3 months, but this time we're moving it up and will do an x-ray of his head in 6 weeks (5 weeks from now). If it's the same or healing then we keep going with chemo as it is now. If it's larger, then we will do all of the x-rays and CT scan again to see if there is anything else. If there isn't, then the neurosurgeon will just go in and basically scoop it out. If something else does show up then we have to change what we are doing completely.
If you followed all of that, as you can see there are a lot of options for what could happen at this point so I'm doing my best to just focus and not worry.
I'm really down with this latest news and I'm finding it really hard to be positive at all. Life seems overwhelming so I'm praying that something good can happen soon. I need it! Please keep our family in your prayers.
Friday, October 17, 2008
Changing Colors
Fall is officially here; okay maybe it has been for a few weeks, but I'm way behind on the blog so indulge me. One of the things I love most about living in Utah is the changing seasons and diversity. I love that we have the snow capped mountains in the north and the red rock arches in the south. I love that I get to enjoy the hot steamy days of summer, the mild chill of the fall, the cold wintery winter and the refreshing, beauty of spring. I'm not saying that I love all of those days every day; I have my days where it is just too darn hot or cold, but overall, I do love it!
I don't know how long my family will get to stay in Utah; having a New Yorker for a husband means that we feel a certain tug toward other corners of the U.S., but for now we are happy here. Michael's career is blossoming; he has finally settled into something he really enjoys. He wakes up everyday happy to go to work and when I talk to him throughout the day he still sounds happy. I'm thrilled that he has finally found that in a job! We also enjoy having family close; something that has been a real blessing this year. As for me, having Moira in Kindergarten this year has made me realize that stay-at-home moms/dads are really beneficial and more than ever I'm feeling that tug. Having been a working mom up until now, I see so many benefits to having had them in daycare; my children are social, independent, polite and secure, but perhaps it's time for a change. They will always be social, independent, polite and secure because they get that at home too, but it would be nice to be able to focus on homework and doing things with mommy. Children grow up way to fast as it is and I don't want to look back one day and realize I missed it because I was too busy.
This stressful year has taken it's toll on me and though I appear to have handled it well (and mostly I think I really have), I can feel parts of me cracking under the pressure. I know that some of my coping strategies aren't very good ones, I've needed to address some of them since college. They didn't work then, lol, I'm not sure why I thought they would now. I'm feeling the need to simplify and concentrate on getting back to who I really am, because I don't feel like I'm me right now. Thankfully, I have a family that are helping to keep me grounded and I have never lost sight of what is important, but a little simplicity sounds wonderfully refreshing!
Here's to fall foliage and some much needed simplicity!
I don't know how long my family will get to stay in Utah; having a New Yorker for a husband means that we feel a certain tug toward other corners of the U.S., but for now we are happy here. Michael's career is blossoming; he has finally settled into something he really enjoys. He wakes up everyday happy to go to work and when I talk to him throughout the day he still sounds happy. I'm thrilled that he has finally found that in a job! We also enjoy having family close; something that has been a real blessing this year. As for me, having Moira in Kindergarten this year has made me realize that stay-at-home moms/dads are really beneficial and more than ever I'm feeling that tug. Having been a working mom up until now, I see so many benefits to having had them in daycare; my children are social, independent, polite and secure, but perhaps it's time for a change. They will always be social, independent, polite and secure because they get that at home too, but it would be nice to be able to focus on homework and doing things with mommy. Children grow up way to fast as it is and I don't want to look back one day and realize I missed it because I was too busy.
This stressful year has taken it's toll on me and though I appear to have handled it well (and mostly I think I really have), I can feel parts of me cracking under the pressure. I know that some of my coping strategies aren't very good ones, I've needed to address some of them since college. They didn't work then, lol, I'm not sure why I thought they would now. I'm feeling the need to simplify and concentrate on getting back to who I really am, because I don't feel like I'm me right now. Thankfully, I have a family that are helping to keep me grounded and I have never lost sight of what is important, but a little simplicity sounds wonderfully refreshing!
Here's to fall foliage and some much needed simplicity!
Sunday, September 28, 2008
My beautiful family...
It's rare for me that when my infant gets up for her last feeding in the night that I can't go back to sleep. I love sleep, I don't get as much of it as I would like so when I get up I can't decide if I'm bugged or if I like it. The reason I like it is because it's quiet... I know my children are tucked snug in their beds, my daughter is well fed and my hubby is sleeping soundly next to me. I take a few minutes to go check on my babies and love watching their peaceful expressions and love it when my little guy talks in his sleep (he's done that since he learned to talk, it's so cute).
One of the funnest things though is I'll turn on the TV and watch something on Food Network (if I catch the last show before the infomercials start) and snuggle into Michael. He never completely wakes up, but he always pulls me close to him and gives me a tight squeeze. It's a beautiful feeling; contentedness (is that a word?) sets in and the world is good again.
I love my family!
One of the funnest things though is I'll turn on the TV and watch something on Food Network (if I catch the last show before the infomercials start) and snuggle into Michael. He never completely wakes up, but he always pulls me close to him and gives me a tight squeeze. It's a beautiful feeling; contentedness (is that a word?) sets in and the world is good again.
I love my family!
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Moving...
I really hate moving. However, I'm really excited for our move to our new corporate center. It is nice that I simply pack my boxes, label them, then leave for the weekend and all the work is done for me. I show up on Monday morning, dock my laptop, unpack my boxes and I'm good to go. Brilliant! The building is beautiful and state of the art; it will be a nice building to work in.
On the home front, Moira is doing fabulous in Kindergarten. She's making friends and loves telling us about what she learned each day. Kai has started pre-school and the report is about the same. When I pick him up, he loves showing me everything he has worked on. As we leave he waves to whoever is still there and says, "Good-bye friend." Mercedes continues to change so much every day. She has the biggest smiles and sings constantly. She is our newest little joy!What cuties I am blessed with!!
Michael is simply loving his new job! It is the perfect position for him; he is being challenged and utilitized in the best of his abilities. He continues to amaze me every day!
As for me, well I couldn't be happier right now. For the number of challenges we have faced this year, we have come out on top and best of all, feeling happy and blessed. Heavenly Father truly has a hand in our lives and shows us daily how much he loves us.
On the home front, Moira is doing fabulous in Kindergarten. She's making friends and loves telling us about what she learned each day. Kai has started pre-school and the report is about the same. When I pick him up, he loves showing me everything he has worked on. As we leave he waves to whoever is still there and says, "Good-bye friend." Mercedes continues to change so much every day. She has the biggest smiles and sings constantly. She is our newest little joy!What cuties I am blessed with!!
Michael is simply loving his new job! It is the perfect position for him; he is being challenged and utilitized in the best of his abilities. He continues to amaze me every day!
As for me, well I couldn't be happier right now. For the number of challenges we have faced this year, we have come out on top and best of all, feeling happy and blessed. Heavenly Father truly has a hand in our lives and shows us daily how much he loves us.
Sunday, September 14, 2008
Working again...
The explanation for the obvious slow down on our blog is simply the fact that I am now back at work. It is bitter sweet to be back; sweet because I do love my job and co-workers, bitter because I have to leave my sweet children at home.
The one thing I've had to ease my mind is the fact that Michael has been working nights and therefore able to be home in the days with the children. Sure, we both feel overworked and tired beyond imagination, but the children have been with their parents and that has been a wonderful blessing.
Our nice little routine (nice was said with much sarcasm) is about to change once again because Michael just received a promotion at work and has been offered a position as the AR/HR Manager. Now, how could we pass up such a wonderful career opportunity? There has been a lot of back and forth because of the children, but in the end, we decided that we couldn't pass this up.
Other reasons for the slow down on the blog are more personal and likely to pass in a short while so hopefully I'll settle into a routine sometime soon and keep our little corner of the internet universe updated. For now I'll offer a cliffnotes version of an update. Children are healthy, happy and growing like weeds. Yay!
The one thing I've had to ease my mind is the fact that Michael has been working nights and therefore able to be home in the days with the children. Sure, we both feel overworked and tired beyond imagination, but the children have been with their parents and that has been a wonderful blessing.
Our nice little routine (nice was said with much sarcasm) is about to change once again because Michael just received a promotion at work and has been offered a position as the AR/HR Manager. Now, how could we pass up such a wonderful career opportunity? There has been a lot of back and forth because of the children, but in the end, we decided that we couldn't pass this up.
Other reasons for the slow down on the blog are more personal and likely to pass in a short while so hopefully I'll settle into a routine sometime soon and keep our little corner of the internet universe updated. For now I'll offer a cliffnotes version of an update. Children are healthy, happy and growing like weeds. Yay!
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The Family
Summer 2008
